We aren't superstitious, but we are a little stitious. *Queue laughter from The Office fans*
First looks are a regularly debated "superstition" in the wedding industry. Whether or not you believe in the Old Wive's Tale or not, the choice is absolutely yours! At XO Event Co., we have seen a little bit of everything. There are couples who don't opt for the first look, because they want to reserve the exciting surprise for the ceremony. We have had couples that know going into it that they want a first look, both because they want to enjoy that intimate moment of reveal alone, and because they anticipate a LOT of happy tears! We have even worked with couples that said from the beginning, "absolutely not!" but end up deciding to have one, day-of.
Regardless of what our couples have chosen, we have never had a couple disappointed with their choice.
So, if you're on the fence about whether or not you want to do a first look, we have put together a list of pros and cons for you and your honey to evaluate!
Pros:
You have a chance, pre-ceremony, to get the jitters out together!
If you know that one (or both!) of you are happy criers, and you don't want to lose it in front of a crowd (which would still be cute, but you do you!), a first look gives you that moment alone with your honey.
This is a really beautiful photo opportunity + you'll potentially save some time after the ceremony since you will have taken so many photos together already!
You'll have a little less anxiety going into the ceremony! Couples who have first looks are generally less nervous, and more excited.
Wedding days are busy and full of interaction. This is a sweet, memorable moment that is reserved for just the two of you.
If you are writing your own vows and are nervous to read them in front of everyone, you can do it privately during a first look! So sweet, so emotional!
Cons:
There is less of a surprise for you both when you begin walking down the aisle! THAT SAID, you won't be any less excited! But, if you prefer to be surprised, you probably don't want to do a first look.
If you're more introverted or private, sometimes knowing a photographer or videographer nearby can make you a little nervous. If you think this is you, just talk to them beforehand! Discuss with your photographer and videographer how they generally shoot first looks, and voice that you would like for them to maybe shoot from afar to alleviate some of the pressure.
If you're more into theatrical productions, your reactions to each other at the ceremony will be different than if you had chosen not to do a first look. If you want the crowd to take in the surprise and the moment with you at full capacity, you may not want to do a first look.
The superstitious side of you might just lose it!! Totally kidding with that one. If you need convincing that the Wive's Tale isn't real, here's a history lesson: Back when arranged marriages were a regular thing, weddings were actually treated more like transactional deals between families. When a father betrothed his daughter to a desirable man (wealthy, had land), his fear was that, for some reason, the deal would fall through. If the groom saw his bride-to-be before the wedding and realized that he wasn't actually attracted to her, he might run away! So, grooms were not allowed to see their brides until they were at the ceremony, so as to limit the groom's ability to...leave the situation. We are pretty darn sure that you + your honey are safe from this one!! If this tradition is the ONLY reason you don't want to have a first look, don't sweat it!
No matter what you decide to do, decide together. We will have your back, even if you change your mind last second!
Have any questions, comments, ideas, or maybe you need some help through your wedding planning process? Please don’t hesitate to contact us at hello@xoeventco.com. We would absolutely love to help you make all your wedding day dreams come true!